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To put it pretty bluntly, my husband totally sucks at being affectionate. I mean, there has to be a direct correlation between how affectionate a couple wznt with each other and how happy they are together, right?

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Oxytocin is a hormone which, in short, makes us feel warm and fuzzy. But the part that really got me?

And I wondered: Zak recommends at least eight hugs a daybut we also instituted some other parameters: On the first evening of our experiment, Matt was able to come home early enough so that we could have dinner together and put the kids to bed as a team which is approximately a gazillion times do you want to cuddle with no sex than doing it. Matt bo, but he agreed in the way he usually does, where he physically hugs me, but it is painfully obvious that he is not enjoying it and is just waiting for me to let him know he can stop.

I chose to ignore it this time, but he pulled away before I was ready, and Is ryan cabrera gay stumbled backwards and hit the wall. And then, uh, I kind of lost it. Is that so hard?!

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I was totally overreacting, but I was tired and annoyed. Not exactly the beginning I was hoping. After we put the kids down, I got into bed, ready for some Netflix vegging. Matt had a little bit of time before he had to leave to go play hockey, so he came cuxdle and suggested we have a cuddle. I was a bit skeptical.

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Like, a snuggle snuggle? Or a sexy snuggle?

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We agreed to snuggle, so let's snuggle. And I was really appreciative that he was willing to take this experiment seriously.

Our first day hadn't started off so well, but by the end of day one, I felt hopeful that this could actually be a really great experience. The next do you want to cuddle with no sex, Matt had to work really late, so by the time he got home, I was already in bed and halfway tl Meet The Patels on Netflix highly recommended, by the way!

It was one of those nights where we were both tired and wouldn't usually talk much because we had already retreated to our invisible bubbles of introversion.

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Oh, right, I did say. But I was watching Meet The Patels! It struck me instantly how rarely we did this, and how incredibly sad that.

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do you want to cuddle with no sex We spent so much time NOT touching each ses, and so much time ignoring each other in favor of other, meaningless things, like Netflix documentaries guilty or hockey updates on his phone totally. I burrowed in a little more and we talked about our days and about all of the things we had going on and how stressed out we were about witth kids and his job and a trip the twins and I were going to take soon.

It felt so nice to have a real conversation.

Do you want to cuddle with no sex

As we settled down for sleep, we spooned like I always tell Matt I want to do, even though he argues that he doesn't like it.

I felt pretty pleased with myself — I was finally getting the affection I'd been wanting. But then bridgeport some chatroulette swinger tonight unexpected happened: In theory, snuggling to sleep seemed so lovely, but in practice I was just hot and uncomfortable.

About two minutes in, I gave up. Matt got home late from work Monday, and it had been a particularly challenging day for me alone with the kids.

When Matt came to bed, he adult sex toys started scrolling through yku phone as usual. Even though I had a man lying next to me who was game for a cuddle, even though he was super loving despite having a super stressful day himself at work, I didn't actually want his affection.

How could that be? Do you want to cuddle with no sex we started our sessions, I was secretly feeling pretty smug: Not even close. We wirh there in her office, and Matt was totally open and comfortable, answering all her questions honestly, and generally being sweet and understanding.

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But me? I was defensive, emotional, and extremely uncomfortable opening up. We lasted three sessions before I insisted we stop going.

When I started this experiment, I was so incredibly excited: A kiss when he leaves for work in the morning would be nice. But beyond that? I went into it thinking that the answer was more touching, more oxytocin, more closeness, more happiness. Craigslist south jersey personals w4m if this was our life everyday — if he were always wanting to kiss me and hug me and touch me and spoon in bed when I just want to lie on my stomach and sprawl out on the cool side of the pillow?

That would, truthfully, probably just skeeve me. When I began this experiment, I thought this it would be about Matt: Because this was my issue, not. And it was always my issue. I ended up with him because he knows that sometimes I need him to put the kids to bed so I can be alone, do you want to cuddle with no sex though his day was just as hard as.

I ended up with him because vinalhaven ME cheating wives keeps an open mind when I tell him he has to hug and kiss and cuddle me without complaining about it for a week, whether he wants to or not.

And I ended up with him because he's the guy who goes to couples' therapy when his wife wants to prove a do you want to cuddle with no sex, even though he knows adult baby girl poop whole time that she is the one not letting him in, not the other way.

So does giving up sex in lieu of cuddling boost oxytocin and make your relationship stronger? I have no idea. But did it teach me a huge lesson about checking my relationship expectations at the door? You bet. Off To A Rough Start.