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After my last relationship endedI had a revelation: When I try to unpack my hesitation, I find only a tangled web of not-quite-right theories.

No, he was emotive and affirming, and I felt safe. Did I not really love him?

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Or so I think it should, in an ideal world. My first boyfriend told me he was falling in love with me, and a few weeks later, we exchanged the words for real. The next day, he broke up with me.

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I pride myself on. If I can predict outcomes, I can save myself pain.

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Each person, while interested in being a couple, is still extremely independent. I often fall in love with men who are similar to me: I typically start forecasting the future after only a few months, or even weeks.

Take my recent ex, for example, who would frequently forget about scheduled phone calls or prioritize me differently than I would have hoped. If you do say it, and you guys talk more openly about the future, you have a shot of making it work. It made me wonder: What would happen if I lived within my relationships more, without trying to forecast their outcomes?

What would happen if I gave my partners a shot at changing the narrative, eay catching up to my feelings and what they represent for me? In fact, his response might have proven to be valuable information.

The words might have even shattered walls. Ultimately, I believe in taking risks for love; I advocate for it in my writing.

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While sometimes old habits of self-protection die hard, there is likely less to lose than I fear when I instinctively hold back those words. The Repeller Store Is Open! X Icon. biy

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