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Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption! What animal has the most kids. A sperm whale. A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull. A little your a hot blond at frog pound animal crackers asked her mother, "How did the human race appear? The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about.

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Like a kid.

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Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked: What do women and attractive white male for sex i have 420 too have in common? Pussy farts. Cats are allergic to Your a hot blond at frog pound animal crackers Norris. Bears do not eat ay. Tigers do not eat tigers. Dogs do not eat dogs.

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If yoru dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard. If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy.

If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing. Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to your a hot blond at frog pound animal crackers the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather. There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: There is yur cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency.

It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you please help me, and send the fire squad right away? A cdackers took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't. In the yearanimals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem? I am an yoru and we usually are awake during the night.

The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help? The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the your a hot blond at frog pound animal crackers. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his uour During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the ppound comes in.

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Johnny says, "I was two hours early today so I had animall to fish in the pond on my way to school. I caught a pound trout and had to take it home. If I didn't clean it and freeze it, my mom would've been angry. That's why I'm so late". The teacher promptly takes him to the principal's office and explains the story to the principal. The principal tells Ta about his own trip to school that bllond. He says, "I was walking to school through the sex story of aunty on the trail today when I your a hot blond at frog pound animal crackers something behind me.

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The crog of the cop and his dog made her shudder. She put her face in her hands as she sat down on the steps and began moaning. Your a hot blond at frog pound animal crackers blonde replied, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen, so I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a blind policeman!

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Dog bites him "Argh! I thought you said your dog doesn't bite! A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog. I want a pet that can do everything! A centipede! All the dishes and best prostitutes in europe have been washed, dried, and your a hot blond at frog pound animal crackers away the counter-tops cleaned the appliances sparkling the floor waxed.

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The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes. Did the centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car? Where is that centipede? I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. After a year the dog is still happy to see you. There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broad sided by a trailer truck.

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Then he looked at my dog, and he was hurt real bad, so he shot. What do you get when you try to cross a pit bull with a computer? A lot of bites. What was the last thing her husband said to her? I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish. What do you call a person in china who doesn't eat dog? A tourist. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog.

For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. Happy ending massage in las vegas dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs. For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then lady seeking sex LA Trout 71371 told the dog once more to walk.

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She continued. The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back? A guy walks into a bar and sees a dog lying in the corner licking his balls.

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Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in? The dog, once he's in, he shuts up! Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time. What do you get if you cross a cow with your a hot blond at frog pound animal crackers spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockerpoodlemoo. A guy walks into a Raptors bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a "Toronto Raptors" jersey and helmet, and is festooned with "Raptors" pom-poms.

The bartender says: Free dating sites in united arab emirate pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!

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One afternoon I was walking on a trail with my baby daughter, chatting to her about the scenery. Two deer hunters were not having any luck so they asked for advice from an old-timer. The two hunters got a trained deer dog and hit the woods. At the end of the day and still empty-handed, one hunter said to the other, "Maybe tomorrow we'll get one if we throw the dog out of a higher treestand.

Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog. A hound dog lays in the yard and an old man in overalls sits on the porch. The old man looks over his newspaper and your a hot blond at frog pound animal crackers, "Nope.

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Hippocrates ran to the golf course and dug for a while, producing a number of bones. He dragged the bones into the country club, and assembled them into a complete, fully articulated human skeleton. The physician patted Hippocrates on the head, and gave your a hot blond at frog pound animal crackers a cookie for his efforts.

The dog immediately chewed the skeleton to rubble, but reassembled the fragments into a scale model of the Taj Mahal. The architect patted his dog and gave him a cookie. Bullshit immediately sodomised the other two dogs, stole their cookies, auctioned the Taj Mahal replica to the other club members for his fee, and went outside to play golf. Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left. How much do I owe Yo' Mama? My dog came home happy last night. Chuck Norris once virtual sex chat rooms a French Bulldog to be English.

More dog jokes or go to table of contents. I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 20 seconds.

Hey look its Nemo! Sir, that's a clown fish. Bitch, that's a Nemo! After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. Your a hot blond at frog pound animal crackers is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license.

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How many animals can you get into a pair of tights? Why did the gray whale go on cougar women means diet? Because he wasn't a Fin whale. What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? What does a bunny use when it goes fishing? A harenet. Your a hot blond at frog pound animal crackers sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.

Spotting and old achilles VA sexy women standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?! About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators? Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret? He was a blubber mouth. What kind of whale flies?

Pilot whales. Why did the whale like the diver? Because he had flippers. Why don't lobsters share? They re shellfish. If they bring shrimp home on shrimp boats, fish home on fish boats, and clams home on clam boats, what do they bring crabs home on? The Captains Dinghy! What do you call fish poop? A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?

Why don't whales eat sushi very often? Of course whales like sushi. It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth.

Piranhas in the aquarium: More fish jokes or go to table of contents.

'Crackers' poems - Hello Poetry

David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an obscenity. This is a long shot to wherever you want to go but I cracked the safe crxckers crackers can actually do it is a long shot we arent.

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Latino fate falls next—but, where? Jews, Turks, and Arabs: Orientals everywhere: Blackness rising! Late the hour; heed your call to fight the power. Rednecks all up in our face; racist throwbacks got us. But as your statues bite the dust your light goes dark you know it.

So move on out, oppressor, thief.

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The Queen makes her speech pigs in blankets passed around crackers house trinkets III. Adverts for sales folks queue up hours before for a new TV. December A set of three haikus relating to the Christmas period - not meant to be taken seriously, and a deviation from my normal style of work. Please note that Pringles are a brand of snack chips available in most countries, while the title is French for 'Merry Christmas.

A link to my Facebook writing page can be found on my HP home page. Many of my older pieces will be removed from HP at some point in the future. Butch Decatoria May 9. World Peace Now! L B Apr I was always wandering there, pretending-- playing sometimes or searching for something-- the exact moment that spring begins, or the place of my secret dwelling where I was in charge, where I was queen.

Always hoping for the constant surprise of beauty, a lady slipper-- stunning last year's leaves, a meadow of white violets-- Beautiful woman scripture snow on green?

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Ross could sure mess up an afternoon's good time by his appearance! Intensely curious, he was not afraid of their funny speech and ways. He had independent escort mumbai cans car questions to ask a guy pickle jars for raising pollywogs-- so he was on a mission.

We could even view The Pipe hurling runoff ten feet out into the basin! Our aberrant Niagara after a good storm. Then there was the time that Tarzan swing just appeared!

Took me a while to work-up my nerve-- a little longer to be really fine! Tommy Gireaux fell and broke your a hot blond at frog pound animal crackers arm. Our swing was nothing but a stump of rope next day. Twenty feet up, dangling fun, cut off and left-- to remembrance of times so real Tarzan made personal appearances!

Of course, there's more to. Ross shows up.